Aweary of the Dark

  Yes, that's how I describe it, and I feel that it's apt. The hamster in my head has run off of its wheel and is now scurrying and scampering about in there, being generally annoying and unhelpful. If the troublesome little bastard would just get back on that thing and start running, things would be okay and my mind would be my own again. Stupid hamster.

Anyway, it has come to my attention that a great many people have no idea what they should and should not say to someone with a mental illness. Being the helpful sort, I'll share some pointers.

• Don't ever, under any circumstance, tell a depressed person that they have no reason to be depressed, or give the ol', "But look at all that you have to be thankful for, you shouldn't feel that way." Don't do it, it makes some depressed people want to kick you in the flaps, and it doesn't help anyone. Depression isn't a matter of feeling down, not looking on the bright side, or not thinking positively enough. Honestly, if we could will this mental plague away by thinking happy thoughts, we'd have done it already. 

• Also not helpful: smarmy little quotes and platitudes. So the lord never gives us more than we can bear? Wow, tell me more about that, because more What-I-Can-Bear-Meter maxed out and blew up long ago.  This too shall pass? Awesome, give me a date so I can pencil it in on my calendar, I can't wait! We've seen the same motivational posters you have, and can read them for ourselves, but thanks anyway.

• Don't assume that your intelligent and well-read friend or family member has chosen to take a mind-altering drug like an SSRI without at least glancing at the informational insert that comes with the pills. Odds are that they have not only read the insert, they've also Googled it and read the loooong list of  drug interactions and potential side effects, and they've also most likely discussed the risks versus the benefits with their mental health care provider.

The list goes on, but you get the idea by now. I know that the platitudes and pep talks are administered with the best of intentions, but they make my foot yearn for my brain to give the thumbs up to a good swift kick in the flaps. Honestly, it's a physical struggle sometimes, my foot and brain have a standoff and the hamster runs in to be a mediator. Hamsters, unfortunately, don't mediate well, and usually the brain and foot both wander away from the negotiations wondering what the hell just happened and feeling a bit disgruntled.